This is Damnation
by uhhno
Summary: Cynical, sarcastic, lazy, and older twin of Lily Evans, Prim had a mediocre life before becoming Primrose Evans. But even after becoming Prim, she was still not satisfied with her new life seeing as how there were so many ways to die in the world of Harry Potter. [healing all characters/comedic romance, comedy comes first/mature language]
1. Pilot - 1

Prologue 01 - This Is Damnation

"Prim!"

That voice was Lily, my fraternal twin sister. Bright and early in the morning when I was trying to sleep in for the remainder of summer. One whole month left before being shipped off.

"Prim!" She called my name again louder this time. I heard the bedroom door swung open but I didn't bother responding yet. I was trying to ignore her so that she would come to the conclusion that I'm half dead and half asleep.

"Prim! Wake up!" She jumped onto the end of my twin size bed and kept on hopping as if my bed was a trampoline.

I honestly wanted to tell her to either shut up or fuck off, but I couldn't swear because I don't want my head to be chopped off by mother, so I mustered little energy to tell her: "get out." Ugh, I can smell my morning breath.

She finally landed down onto her bum and proceeded to bother me by shaking my tiny 11-year-old body hidden beneath the warm blanket, "no can do, Prim, we've got letters!"

Oh, right.

Letters.

To attend school.

Hogwarts.

But a school nonetheless.

Fuck me in the a-hole.

Before this fuckery, let me explain my backstory. Primrose Evans is actually not me. Well, it is me, but Primrose wasn't who I was before being born as Primrose. I am — or was — someone else. I was a young woman aspiring to become an unemployed wealthy cat lady. But I didn't get far, you see.

No, in fact, from the terrible luck I had in my first life, just after I got my high school diploma, I'd gotten into an accident. A pretty bad accident that resulted in my death. I should've just stayed home and played games all day if I was going to die. All those studying for exams? Useless.

But guess what. Even more terrible is the fact that I'd been reborn into this craptastic world instead of being sent to hell or the underworld or whatever it is. But no, I'm stuck in Harry Potter world instead, and what's more is that I had been reborn as Harry Potter's mom's twin sister.

Don't get me wrong, I love Harry Potter, I watched all the films, didn't read any books, did read fanfics though. But what's the good when almost all of the paths I might take in Primrose's future will ultimately end in my death?

If the gods gave me a second chance at life, at least give me a proper one that won't have to do with anything concerning the main characters of this world or make me into a Mary Sue so that I can kill Baldy Voldey and get it over with.

Plus, imagine me, an 18-year-old virgin full of love-hormones stuck inside an 11-year-old!

I want to have sex, damn it!

* * *

Prologue 02 - Severus Snape

"C'mon Prim, Severus is waiting for us."

Lily smiled at me and I made a face. "You mean you?"

"No," she emphasized, "I mean us. I don't understand why you hate Severus. He's very kind once you get to know him."

"I don't hate him. He hates me. I don't understand why you always drag me along to meet him, he's your friend, not mine."

I was telling Lily nothing but the sincere truth. I don't hate Severus, but that didn't mean that I like him either. He was just… meh. His personality: meh. His face: meh. He was charismatic in the films, but in reality, he's a bit of a snot-nosed brat — just like any other children.

"There he is. Sev!"

"Lily," Severus greeted her back. His gaze met mine and he froze then his eyes turned back to Lily as if he was saying 'dafuq she doing here?'

Just as Lily was about to say something, I intervened, I said to them, "seems like you two need catching up to do. If you need me, don't call me."

"Wait, Prim..."

Too late, I was already halfway to the lake.

I sat down by the lake and I took out a half-filled journal.

What I have inside are all the events that happened so far in my life, as well as things that I remember from the films. No one can read it since all the words are encrypted into a different language — the language of my past life's home country. This made it so that I don't have to try so hard to remember what exactly went down to know who and what to avoid in this world.

Anyway, I wrote today's entry about Severus Snape — that he avoided my eyes like the last time we met.

He must really hate me to avoid my eyes constantly. Either that or he was madly in love with me. I'd love to assume it was the latter because I have a shit personality that is overconfident at the same time.

* * *

Prologue 03 - Lazy-ism

"Don't be lazy, sweetheart," mum said to me sternly.

Mum was especially strict on the middle child and not to Petunia and Lily. Dad, on the other hand, wasn't. At all. He spoils me non stop. During the days Lily and I were attending muggle school, I'd gotten a 'well done' on my math test and Lily got a 'satisfactory' (she had a fit and locked herself in her room) dad brought me a gift which was supposed to be a secret between us but I bragged about it in front of Lily. Never again. Nonetheless, there was no doubt that I'm daddy's little girl. Petunia and Lily can both fuck off and suck up to mum instead.

"But it's so troublesome… Going to different shops. You'll only need me just to buy the wand. And I'll just look at Lily's textbooks if I really need to (which I don't). Can I just stay home, dear mother?" I fluttered my lashes. It always worked until mum realized just how much of a devil I was, but it didn't hurt to try.

"None of this nonsense. You're coming whether you like it or not."

Ugh. Kill me already. This woman was taking me hostage by grabbing onto my hand.

"You're supposed to be excited! Aren't you wondering what Diagon Alley looks like? I bet it's going to be awesome!" Lily says, catching up to me.

I rolled my eyes, not as subtle as Lily would've liked. I was not excited at all to meet my doom that was school. Even if it was a magic school. School is still school and I was definitely not looking forward to all the work. I told you, my aspiration was and still is to be a wealthy cat lady who didn't do any work if I could help it.

"Petunia dear, hurry or we'll be stuck in traffic!"

Oh, right, I forgot Petunia was there. She was like the invisible man.

* * *

Prologue 04 - Not Poor, But Average.

With the help of a magical guide, we all entered Diagon Alley after Tom, the bartender/owner/innkeeper, opened the entrance, all too habitually.

"Now… Where do you think the bank is, girls?"

Wasn't it obvious? "The white building looks strangely out of place, all polished and clean unlike the rest of these buildings, eh mum?" I said sarcastically. Mother gave me a look that said 'don't be sassy at me.' I wouldn't be surprised if she snapped her fingers at me as well.

Nothing exciting went down inside Gringotts, except for the ride to the new vault that mum made to leave a small sum of money for Lily and me just in case of emergencies. I know what I'm going to do with that money. Investments in stocks. Keep it a secret from mom though. Oh, and Lily as well. They'll freak.

Then, we headed to get our robes.

Wait.

... Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions...? I thought the Evans family was struggling at the current time.

Could it be? After all these years in near-poverty, was mother going to break the news that we were actually filthy stinking rich? So all those moments of 'no, we're not buying that' and 'maybe later' and simply 'no' were all just to make me humble...?

Then, mum gave us an explanation. "It's your first year at Hogwarts so your father and I are going to give you the best supplies you'll need. But we'll see if we can keep coming back to get better supplies next years if you two do well in school."

Mum, you're telling me that we're still poor?

Alright. It's official. I'm definitely investing in stocks.

"Welcome ladies! Who am I measuring today?" Malkin greeted us, making me come out of my calculations for future (investment) plans.

"Just her measurements," I point to Lily, "but we'll take two of each outfit, thanks."

"No, no, we'll measure this little one as well," mom glares at me and then gleams at Malkin as she pats down my head.

"… Gladly," Malkin smiled, "come this way."

* * *

Prologue 05 - Oh Mother

We exited Malkin's. I suggested we visit the bag store next to obviously purchase a bag to keep our supplies in, and hopefully, mom will allow me to get into one of the bags and stay there until we get back home — of course, the bags must be charmed in order for that to happen.

No such luck. Even more so was when mother insisted in response to my witty remark that I become today's temporary butler and carry all of our shit, including Lily's. Lily protested. Thanks for looking out for your dear sister, Lil.

Anyway, next stop was Flourish and Blotts.

Books. Cursed books. I prefer pictures instead, thanks.

I grabbed one of the textbooks off of the shelf needed for first years. "Is this really necessary? It's not like I'll look inside these books, ever. They'll all go to complete waste."

"You will read them and you will like every one of these books," mom demanded.

It was too much for her to ask of me. What if I die from reading too much? That's one of my greatest fears next to dying of hunger and thirst.

I tried to make a viable excuse. "I never read anything for muggle school and I still got more than satisfactory. All the teachers loved me (and I despised them)."

"You will read each word. Each word. I'm going to tell Professor McGonagall to observe you read those and report back to me."

I gasp at the blank threat. "My own mother would blackmail me into doing something I don't want to do?!"

* * *

A/N:

Give me a pat on the back because I have a midterm soon.


	2. Pilot - 2

Prologue 06 - Cyclops

The second last stop was the pet shop. I would've settled for a kneazle since they could detect suspicious people, but no, I had to pick an owl so that mum can contact me by the only communication available in Hogwarts: through letters. Which was a load of bullocks.

As soon as I become filthy rich, I'm going to own thousands of kneazles.

"How about this one? He's pretty handsome, don't you think Prim?" I heard mum ask from the front of the shop, I was at the back of the store, viewing toads. "Prim?" I saw mum look around for me, the same with Lily. Oh, yeah, and Petunia. I swear she's the Invisible Man.

Mum was closing in on me. Lily was behind her holding a cage and inside was a perfectly groomed barn owl. "Prim, you haven't picked an owl yet? What're you doing in the toad section?"

"Ew." That was the first time I heard Petunia talk during this whole trip.

"I chose already," I answered mum's rhetorical question.

"An owl please, Primrose. Once daddy's gotten a promotion, I promise we'll come back to buy you a… toad."

I shrugged. I actually had an owl in mind before my mind wandered off to view the amphibians. "Don't worry your little heart, dear mother, I already chose my owl."

"Really?" Mum finally smiled, delighted by the fact that I finally listened to her request.

I walked to my desired owl which was held inside a considerably smaller size bird cage, hidden slightly by the cheap curtain. "I choose this one." It was a snowy owl, but from the rust and soot its feathers gathered, anyone would've mistaken it for a screech owl.

"This one…?" Lily asked hesitantly, "it's missing an eye, and it looks like a few of his feathers are missing."

I ripped off the curtain. "I assure you, they're all battle wounds."

"It looks as though it can't even fly, Primmie." Ugh, I hated when mum called me that, with that specific tone of pity voice.

A worker came into our view, who appeared to be desperate to sell this owl. "Excellent eye! This is Bene," he pointed to the owl, "he's not that old, just a couple of years on his back, and I assure you he can fly. Also, you're quite right, Miss, these are battle scars."

I turned to look at mum and Lily, "told you so." Mum rolled her eyes, at least now I know where I got my eye roll from. I turned back to look at the teenage part-timer and told him, "and that's not Bene, his name is Cyclops. Also, you don't have to look so desperate to sell Cyclops because we'll take him."

"We are?" "You are?" They all said in sync as if they rehearsed this.

"And since you were ever so hanging onto desperado, give us a large discount on all the necessary items needed for Cyclops."

"Gladly!" The teenager said in glee, "thanks so much, my boss will give me a raise when I tell her I sold Ben— I mean, Cyclops!"

I opened the cage — "no, don't open it, he'll fly off!" The worker yelled in worry — but Cyclops didn't fly off, except onto my held out hand which amazed all of the workers inside of the shop.

"I welcome you into the Evans family, Cyclops."

* * *

Prologue 07 - Boldness and Humour

Our last and final stop in Diagon Alley was Ollivanders.

Petunia watched in despise as Lily got her willow wand on her second try.

Then it was my turn and everyone's eyes were on me. I hated being the center of attention. 'Give me money, not attention' is my motto, but I refrained myself from saying that in front of mum.

"Dominant arm out please." Ollivander gave me a friendly smile.

"I'm ambidextrous." I was a left-handed in my previous life, but right-handed in this one, probably something to do with genetics and childhood influences and stuff like that. That was how it worked, right?

"Oh, how rare," Ollivander appeared confused like he'd never met a special person like me, "then I'll measure both."

It was after the third try that I've met my soulmate. My wand soulmate. "Ah, here you are, 11 inches, dragon heartstring as the core, and spruce wood wand for a bold spellcaster with a great sense of humor," smiled Ollivander.

He placed the wand on my hand and the wand and I felt a connection. I felt that I would get along with this spruce wand and that it would become a friend of a sort. It was kind of sad that my first friend would be this wand.

"7 Galleons please."

* * *

Prologue 08 - When They Met the Devil

Upon seeing my face, Lily asked me a stupid question. "Aren't you excited?"

"Do I look excited?"

"But this is Hogwarts! It'll be different from any other muggle schools." Lily talked as if she was chiding someone younger than her.

She was the replica of mum, always bright and outgoing, acting as if she cared which she probably did, but as the middle child, I see the bad in everyone, which is a gift.

"I'll meet you inside, Lil."

"You're going inside already?" Mum stopped me by my shoulder as I was about to leave.

I shrugged, "I already said my goodbyes."

Mum sighed, she pinched dad as she told him to do something about me leaving so early. Dad told me, "I know you want to get your beauty sleep inside the train, but do you have enough time for a hug before you leave, Rose?"

"For you, dad, always." With that said, dad pulled me into a bear hug and a peck on my forehead. "Love you."

I heard a sigh coming from my left. "What about dear old mummy?" Mum opened her arms after giving up trying to argue with me.

"I'll make an exception." I smiled slightly as I went into mum's embrace and I told her I love her too.

"Bye mum, bye dad. I'll see you guys during the holidays!" I left in a hurry, carrying my trusty old travel pillow by my side.

I was the earliest to arrive on the train. I took a spot in the last compartment and made myself comfortable with my pillow. I hadn't gotten a decent amount of sleep these couple of days, Lily had been pestering me to wake up early and go with her to meet her friend, Severus.

I really didn't understand why she always had to bring me with her. I mean, I remember her saying that Severus wanted to see me, but I know that was a lie, Lily probably thought that I hated being a loner. But honestly, I like being a lone wolf.

Just as I was about to fall asleep ten minutes after arriving inside, I was woken up fully by the sound of the compartment door sliding open. I opened my eyes and saw that there were three boys.

"Mind if we sit here?" One of them inquired as they were about to take their seats in front of me.

"I do actually."

"Prim, don't be rude." Ugh, it was my goody-two-shoes sister, Lily Evans. "We don't mind you traveling with us." She sat down next to me, then Severus sat down next to her.

It was glaringly obvious as to who the three boys were. James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin by their appearance. Potter had the glasses, Black had his signature black hair, and Lupin had visible scars.

I groaned as they sat down in front of us as I saw James whispering something to Sirius and Remus awkwardly sitting down beside the duo.

I thought to myself that it'll be fine if I keep my communication with them minimal, seeing as how if I ever befriend or get intertwined in their lives, it was possible that my second chance at life would end so early since these boys were the main death routes in this era.

"Name's James Potter, this is Sirius Black, and that's Remus Lupin."

"It's really nice to meet you all, I'm Lily Evans. This is my twin sister, Primrose Evans. And this here is my friend Severus Snape."

It looked like they were playing mediator.

"I'm going to go back to sleep. Wake me up when… September ends."

"When September ends?" Remus' voice rang through my ears, "but that's four weeks from now…"

"Don't mind my sister. She says the weirdest things."

"She's actually quite hilarious," Sirius said, a chuckle in his voice.

"Hey, mind if we call you Prim?" I heard James ask.

I opened my eyes to glare at them, "no."

"How 'bout Rose, then?"

"No."

Only daddy has the permission to call me Rose.

"So, Rose, which house do you want to be sorted into? I reckon you for a Gryffindor with your fiery attitude." James just won't stop yapping.

"If I answer your question, will you let me go back to sleep?"

"Maybe."

"Hufflepuff," I answered.

"Hufflepuff? Why?" Sirius asked.

I turned to look at Sirius and he held my gaze. "Because the Hufflepuff dorm is the closest to the kitchen." But I doubt I'll ever get sorted into that house because I was definitely not a hard worker.

They all laughed, except for Severus.

"I really like you, Rose, come to Gryffindor!"

"No."

* * *

A/N:

I'm stuck between two pairings.


	3. Pilot - 3

Prologue 09 - Headaches

I couldn't get a minute of my beauty sleep because of the two troublemakers. James and Sirius. They kept on bothering me for the whole ride to Hogwarts. Remus was okay, he'd been acting like an innocent little lamb, though he too, like Severus, kept avoiding my eyes.

It made me think that maybe I was secretly the Slender Man.

But the one thing that was more than trouble was the fact that James, Sirius, and Severus got into a huge argument about Slytherin versus Gryffindor, fighting about which house was better.

Obviously, Hufflepuff was the top of the top house in Gryffindor since they had the kitchen close to their dorm. And I heard from Lily, who've read _Hogwarts: A History_ , that there was a book filled with all of the recipes by Helga Hufflepuff inside of the dorm, which was just a matter of finding the said book.

Anyway, from all the arguing, I wanted to get out of the compartment and onto another, but curse my laziness, I wasn't even able to stand up. It would've been much better if I had some kind of music to block out the noise, but this was the 1970's and there was no such thing as an mp3.

I could feel my stressed out negative aura that I was emitting as I got out of the train. It would be wise for anyone not to lay a hand on me. Lily certainly knew that.

However, as luck would have it, I was paired helplessly with James, Sirius, and Remus onto the boat that first years had to aboard. Lily wasn't even with me because she was far too quick to disappear with Severus, wanting to see the inside of Hogwarts faster.

"Thought you could get rid of us so soon, Rose?" James and Sirius smirked, while Remus sent a sorry smile at me. That sorry smile won't work on me, Remus.

* * *

Prologue 10 - Hatstall

"Very peculiar indeed… I see great potential. A thirst for power and the ways to achieve it… Oh, but I see a tremendous amount of courage within you as well. You would do well in Slytherin or Gryffindor… but Salazar Slytherin is rejecting you for your muggle-born status. So where to put you?"

"What about Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw?"

"Hmm… yes… You do have the intelligence… but you don't have any curiosity… If you were in Ravenclaw, I see you not bothering yourself to answer any of the crow's riddle to enter the dormitory. You wouldn't do well in Hufflepuff either for your lack of value for hard work."

"I disagree, I think I'll do pretty well in Hufflepuff."

"No, you wouldn't."

"Yeah, you're right. I wouldn't. — Then put me in Slytherin. I don't care if I get bullied for me not being a pureblooded inbred freakazoid. I don't want to be sorted into Gryffindor." That was where all the trouble was.

"Don't want to be in Gryffindor, eh? What about all of your straightforward responses despite the consequences? And the times you stood up for your sister? Gryffindor would suit you better."

"I'll beg if I have to, you motherfuck—"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Shit.

Was it the swearing?

"Yes." I heard the hat say before it was lifted up from my head.

"Hey, Rose! I knew you'd come join us in Gryffindor!"

This was the one thing I feared. Getting close to James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin, and other future important people of this world. But James Potter was the icing on the cake since he'd be the first to go.

I sat down next to Lily. My eyes fixated on the table, my mind was blank as I replied, "don't talk to me, Potter."

"Hey now, is that any way of talking to your fellow house-mate?"

* * *

A/N:

This chappy is the end of the prologue.

Also, please keep in mind that there will be romance. The whole point of this fanfic is for the shipping.

I'm thinking James Potter as the main pair ; and Sirius or someone else for sub pair.

Just an FYI, Prim might be Mary-Sue, since she's a character that formed from my concept of ideal self.

Also, thanks to those favorited and followed! I always look forward to reading any reviews you guys leave :)


	4. Year 1 - 1

101 - Lonely, I'm miss lonely. I have nobody.

"The password this week is 'Mors Ultra,' do not forget it or else you'll be locked out." The first years gathered in front of the fat-lady painting, and everyone was listening to the prefects talk.

I would've been screwed if it wasn't for Lily poking me in the ribcage.

"Mors Ultra."

The fat lady opened the door and the students rushed in.

"Boys on the right and girls on the left! You'll each find your belongings placed in a neat arrangement next to your beds. Lights out at 10."

Lily and I started to head up the stairs up to the girls' side like the rest of the first year girls.

"I feel sorry for Severus," Lily spoke.

"I don't."

Lily glanced at me with a worried expression, "you don't? How would you feel if you were isolated from your friends? ... He was expecting me to join Slytherin with him…"

"I'd be glad to be isolated from society. And, for your information Lily, I don't have any friends, so that question doesn't really apply to me, does it."

"You do have friends!" Lily argued. "Severus is your friend, and um… Right! Those boys on the train could also be your friends as well."

"Correction. Severus is an acquaintance, same with those boys. Nothing more, nothing less. And I'd like to keep it that way."

"Come on, Prim, they could become your friends in the future. And later, perhaps, best friends?"

"When pigs fly," I scoffed. As if.

"We are in a magic school and we are witches so it's quite possible — flying pigs I mean."

"… Shite, you're right."

Lily glared at me, "watch your language, Primrose."

"Or what? You're going to tell mummy dearest —" That was when I realized I was fucked on all sides.

"You know I will, Primmie," Lily winked at me before entering our room.

But then I realized something. I followed right behind Lily and I said to her, "joke's on you, Lil, mum's not a witch so she can't enchant a letter for it to become a howler."

"But you'll have to deal with her during the holidays."

I smirked. "By then, mum's anger will have vanished."

"By then, mum's anger will have doubled if I choose to remind her that you cursed."

"Oh… you little…" I muttered under my breath. "Lily, I thought we were sisters!"

"That's exactly why — as your sister, I'm heavily concerned about your use of language."

I rolled my eyes as I settled onto my bed while Lily started to brush her hair, one of her nightly ritual she inherited from mum. I started singing Bon Jovi's _It's My Life_ whilst reading a witch's magazine that was from a month ago. Terrible fashion, coming from me who've lived in the 21st century in my previous life.

My awesome singing was interrupted. "Pleased to meet your acquaintance, my name's Alice Prewett."

I felt like I've heard of that name somewhere, I mean besides from the sorting. But as I was thinking for a second, I noticed another girl, Jane Malbone from what I remembered her from the sorting (I have a good memory), beside Alice.

"I'm Jane," she cleared her throat, "Malbone. Jane Malbone." She was clearly shy, but she was probably the type of person to be crazy, fun, and weird when you get to know her. "Pleasure to meet you both."

"Nice to meet you, Alice, Jane. I'm Lily Evans. This is my twin sister, Primrose."

"You two don't look identical," Alice responded as she shook hands with Lily. Lily shook Jane's hand as well.

"Fraternal twins," I informed the two as Alice shook my hand as well.

"Wow, you have a strong grip," Alice said.

"My friend, I only have one type of handshake and that is the business handshake. The only handshake you'll ever need to succeed in life."

Alice and Jane both looked amused. Then, my sister explained to them, "Prim is all sorts of crazy. Don't mind her."

"Good kind of crazy I'm assuming," Jane responded with that soft tone of voice of hers.

Thanks, Jane. You're going to be one of my first friends — next to Cyclops.

* * *

102 - Spotlight

The first day of Hogwarts and I slept in. I was half an hour late to Potions. Lily probably tried to wake me up, but she was the type to even abandon her sister when school was at stake.

When I entered, all of the attention was on me. Everyone was staring at me as if I'd committed a terrible act of treason. However, I felt Lily's disapproving gaze on me the most.

"5 points from Gryffindor for Miss Evan's tardiness."

Now, let me inform you that 'Miss Evans' could mean Lily or me, and I could tell from three rows of desks away that Lily was beginning to fume. Another reason why she was fuming was because of the house points. She was a hardcore patriot.

"But professor —" That was Lily's voice, not mine. I didn't care about house points at all. What was the point of winning the house cup if I wasn't getting anything as a reward? Lily grumbled as I sat down next to her, then she whispered to me harshly, "I tried to wake you up three times…! I can't believe you're late on your first day — actually, I can believe it and that's what gets me the most."

"Maybe you should've tried harder? Or be creative with your alarms in the morning, like maybe 'Cyclops gained his missing eye back!' or," I interrupted myself with a slight yawn, "something like that."

"Or maybe you should wake up early for class?"

I sighed. There was no use arguing seeing as how I was so tired that I couldn't come up with a smarter remark. I was also getting a headache from hearing a set of annoying laughter from behind. The annoying laughter came from James and Sirius, no doubt hearing our argument. And it was class time so I decided to just say to her: "Alright, fine. … Sassy pants."

"… I am not a sassy pants."

"Whatever you say, Miss Diva."

"Ugh, I am not —"

"Miss Evans," we both looked up to see Slughorn with his hands on his hips, "if I could have your attention please."

The true diva today was Professor Slughorn.

* * *

103(1) - Evans the Original, and Evans the Clone

"Why do you keep avoiding them?" Alice inquired as though this needed an investigation. This was mostly after a few cases this afternoon seeing me look the other way when I noticed James and the other boys (now including Peter Pettigrew) look my way, or when I ran the other way when I saw them coming toward me.

"I'm quite curious too." Jane joined in on the conversation. "Are you scared of them? They do pull awful pranks sometimes — luckily, the pranks are aimed at Slytherins."

Lily answered in my stead, "no, she's not scared of them. If she was scared of them, I would've been able to tell."

"You saw my freaked out face before?" I asked. I don't think I was ever scared of something.

"Yeah. Once, a long time ago, when you thought I died after falling into a ditch. Remember?"

Well, now I remember. "Thanks for reminding me, Lil." Sure I was afraid that Lily actually died, but I was also confused when I thought she was quite possibly dead, I wondered just what would happen in the future. Like, would Harry never be born? Or, would Harry still be born from another parent? Or, will Neville be the boy-who-lived? etc.

Lily smiled as if she'd accomplished something amazing. "I thought you hated me, but after that time, I got to experience sisterly love from you!" It sounded by the tone of her voice Lily was joking, but from years of spending time with her, I knew there was truth in those words.

"What happened? Why were you in a ditch, Lily?" Alice asked. She and Jane's eyes had been wide after Lily told them that she almost died.

"Lily was bullied when we were younger and I guess someone pushed her too roughly that she fell down into the ditch. Our family lives by a small meadow beside a forest so Lily sometimes went there to play with Severus," I explained, "that's why you should always remember, kids, do not be a bully, you could kill someone…"

I sighed, noticing tiny little marauders gaining up on a poor kid from Slytherin who was in the same year as us.

It looked like the three girls noticed as well. "… You mean like them?"

"Exactly. Don't be like them."

* * *

103(2) - Evans no. 1, Evans no. 2

Sirius was the first to look our way, then he nudged James. James turned around as he greeted us. "Ah, fellow Gryffindors! How are you, Rose?" He then turned to look beside me, "Evans, Prewett, and… uh… Mal… Malfunction? Malodorous?"

"It's Jane the Maleficent," Jane introduced herself sarcastically. Remus was the only one to laugh at her sarcastic remark.

"… Isn't it Jane Malbone?" Peter asked dumbly.

"Oh my God, Pettigrew."

Peter appeared puzzled by Jane's response that was rather muggle. "What…? Did I say something wrong?" He asked Sirius who stood right beside him.

Sirius answered with a chuckle, "quite the opposite actually."

"Skipping all the pleasantry aside, I'm going to head for Minerva's class now. By the way, Potter, I didn't allow you to call me by Rose so drop the name."

"Then what shall I call you by? If you'd prefer, I could just call you by Ro — much simpler."

"I didn't give you any permission whatsoever for you to call me any other name than Evans."

"But there are two Evans. If I call you by Evans, what would I call the other Evans?" At that Sirius snickered.

Lily, however, was not in the joking mood at James' words. She surely didn't like being compared to me seeing as how I was better than her. Of course, she had her shining moments.

I told James, "call her Lily and call me Evans. There, simple."

"What?" Lily, dissatisfied with my answer, said, "I don't want someone that bullies others to call me by my given name."

"Okay, here's another solution, call Lily by Clone, and call me by Evans." — I heard Lily say "not funny, Prim." — "Or call Lily by Evans Number 2 and call me by Evans Number one. There are your choices, Potter. The same goes for you three as well," I glanced at Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

"Me too…?" Peter pointed to himself.

"What do you think, Pettigrew?"

As you could probably tell, Peter Pettigrew was my least favorite character. However, he was just an innocent little child right now, on the other hand, there was me — an 18-year-old woman (technically 29 if you counted both lives).

"Well," James began again, "freedom of speech an' all that, I think I'll call you Ro."

"We're not in America, Potter."

"Freedom of speech is included in almost every country, Prim," Lily pointed out, "including Scotland which Hogwarts is in. Also —"

"Thank you, dear sister, for the information that I didn't necessarily need."

Lily blew a raspberry.

"Um… Guys, hate to interrupt, but we'll really be late to Transmogrify if we don't start heading there right now."

"Bugger, don't want to be late again guys, and this is Professor McGonagall we're talking about," Remus said to the boys as he walked away faster than anybody could respond. The three boys hurried to catch up to him.

"Good, they're gone. I'll lead the way girls," I started walking but then I was stopped by Alice, I turned around.

"The class is the other way, Prim," Alice informed me.

Lily shook her head at me. "I'm just curious as to how you managed to find the potions class all by yourself this morning."

She then explained to the girls, "my sister has a poor sense of direction."

"I was only walking the other way so that I didn't have to walk along with Potter. Besides, I'd like to believe I've gotten better at directions since there aren't a lot of reflections here to distract me - all those times spent in muggle shopping mall-"

Lily sighed. She was definitely thinking that I was completely mental. "She's also a narcissist."

I responded with a witty remark. "I call it being confident."

Both Alice and Jane giggled. Jane said to Lily, "I think your sister's funny."

"Trust me, you two, Prim isn't trying to be funny."

* * *

A/N:

Thanks for the reviews guys! I love reading them! I also love when people are getting theories out of my story like what's going to happen and stuff, and love proving them wrong hehe.

Also, I'm not going to reveal any spoilers (even though I really want to). Maybe I'll put out hints here and there concerning your questions you guys leave on the review thread.

I'm also going to try and make Author's Notes minimal since not many read these. I certainly don't.


	5. Year 1 - 2

104 - Pride

"Just what in the world did you send that mum found a way to send me a howler?" I interrogated Lily after the howler ripped itself into pieces. I was mostly unaffected by it because I was used to mum yelling at me, but I still wanted some peace and quiet while I was here at Hogwarts.

"I heard there's a way for muggle parents to buy howlers now," Jane notified me after done chewing her plate. Today's dinner was western cuisine. Again. I would love some other country cuisine right about now.

Only a week had passed and Lily and I both already got letters from home just like anybody else. But I was the only one out of the entire student body to get a howler. This could go onto world's fastest record.

"I only told them what was happening," Lily answered my question innocently. She was a professional at acting innocent and smug at the same time.

"Which means you told them about my detentions?"

"And the fact that you alone managed to deduct 50 points from our house. I had to work so hard to get all those points back. Do you not have a sense of pride in your own house, Prim?"

I clapped my hands slowly, "terrific job at finding that out yourself, Lil! I've never been this proud of my dear sister." Lily rolled her eyes at that, and I too rolled my eyes at her rolling her eyes at me.

"But, really, Prim," Alice said from beside me, "Lily's telling the truth when she said you alone have managed to deduct 50 points this past week."

"At this rate, Gryffindor will come out at the bottom, and Slytherin would win the house cup again for the seventh time in a row!" Jane said as she let go of the piece of turkey in her hand and looking terrified of Gryffindor's future.

I sighed, irritated. "Fine," I said, "I'll get back the 50 points so that you guys can stop pestering me about the goddamn points."

"Prim!"

"Oh, right, sorry. I meant 'Merlin-damn' — though it's a lot less catchy."

Lily shook her head in disappointment. "This is what I have to live with."

* * *

105(1) - Primrose FTW

"… Prim…! Wake up…!" Lily was harshly whispering directly in my ears as I tried to shoo her away. She then nudged me and poked me consistently before I fully awoke angrily.

I wiped my drool off my chin and I said to her, "what?"

Lily then pointed to the front and I turned to look at where Lily was pointing to.

Professor McGonagall, the most strict professor in Hogwarts.

Two words came to my mind - Oh shit.

Then, I said the dumbest shit I've ever let out of my mouth, "what's up, McG?"

Give me a break, I just woke up.

"More than two decades of teaching and I have _never_ experienced such disrespect in my class, Miss Evans! Ten points from Gryffindor for Miss Evans'… sleeping in class!"

"Great goin', Evans…!" Some background extra yelled from halfway across the class.

Lily glared at me. She whispered as McGonagall resumed the lecture, "our house already lost 50 points because of you, Prim…! Now, 60…!"

"Blame the Professors," I whispered back, "I voted for classes to start at 1 in the afternoon and end at 3 so that I could get my beauty sleep." Lily's glare continued to fixate on me. I groaned, "alright. Fine. I'm getting back the 60 points I promised you guys, and more."

"How will you do that in one go?" From behind, Alice looked awfully curious.

"… Now that Miss Evans is awake, we'll get right into today's spell. We are going to transform a match into a needle. Don't fret if you can't transform it on your first try. Transmogrify takes many practices in perfecting each spell. Now, repeat after me, _Flintifors_."

""" _Flintifors_.""" Everyone repeated the spell

"Professor," I called, raising my hand to grab McGonagall's attention. Lily made a face as to tell me not to do anything stupid. When have I ever?

"What is it, Miss Evans?" McGonagall appeared to be annoyed, frustrated and wanting desperately for me to shut up for the time I attended Hogwarts.

"If I succeed in making this match change into a needle, can I get 100 points for my house? As well as the permission to sleep in class in future lectures?"

McGonagall's face said it all — she wanted to see me try (and fail at it). "… And if you don't succeed?"

"You can expel me," I replied, not affected at all by what I said. Everyone in the room gasped and gossiped among each other.

\- "The guts on Evans" -

\- "I doubt she can do it" -

\- "She's pretty but I don't think she can even pronounce the spell, much less wave the wand properly" -

\- "oh this is going to be brilliant, just watch, she'll turn _herself_ into a needle" -

"Whoever said that I would turn myself into a needle, that's not possible unless I'm a metamorphmagus. You'd know if you had been reading — Oh wait, that's a topic in third year textbook." Don't ask how I know.

But if I must explain, Lily had pre-bought her favourite subjects' textbooks up to third year without knowing it (Lily was a hardcore bookworm) which mum allowed and proceeded to read to me all of the topics she found interesting because I didn't have anything else to do and there were no interesting things on the old 60's television. Me, with my genius brain, absorbed every information in like a sponge even if I didn't want to.

"I'll give you those points if you succeed and I'll let you sleep in this class until the holidays," she was afraid that I might just prove everyone wrong after previous my response at that random student, "If you don't succeed, however, you'll stay after class for detention," McGonagall said.

"Does detention mean I'll have to stare at a wall for an hour?"

"More than an hour."

"Oh god, that's worse than expulsion."

Some muggle-borns - well, everybody - stared at me like I was a freak. They were the ones who were freaks, wanting to stay at school when they could just drop out of school and invest in stocks [kids, don't drop out of school]. I was only forced to attend Hogwarts by my parents and I respected their wish, so the only way to get out of school was to be forced out.

"If it's going to be like that, Professor, can I also call you McG if I succeed?"

"No."

\- "It's not like she'll really succeed" -

Okay, who wants to fight.

"It was worth a try," I responded to McGonagall.

I pointed my wand at the match and I imagined a needle. When I truly focused on something, I really put all of my energy into it. I focused on the match. I repeatedly said needle in my mind and kept on imagining a needle And before I could mutter the first letter of the spell, the match shifted form and finally changed into a fine needle.

"Haha, I actually managed to do it," I chuckled as I lifted up the needle between my fingers.

Everyone, including Lily, was in shock. If they could look at their own faces, they would've laughed.

\- "But we haven't even looked at the Professor's demonstration yet…" -

\- "I heard even the headmaster had trouble with Transmogrify in his first year" -

"… 100 points to Gryffindor…" McGonagall voiced, baffled.

"Can I go to sleep now, Professor?"

 _All in that moment, Minerva McGonagall watched Primrose Evans, James Potter, and Sirius Black and predicted that Hogwarts was going to be hell until they graduated._

* * *

105(2)

Alice cackled, "did you see their faces?"

Jane and Lily chuckled along. "Did you see _your_ face?" Jane asked rhetorically to Alice's own little rhetoric question.

"Have anyone told you that you're a genius, Prim?" Alice asked with glee, "you should help me study for classes if you're that good in every class."

"You should help me study for classes too. I'll treat you to Honeydukes once we're all allowed to go to Hogsmeade in our third year." Hmm… Jane was actually good at bribery at her age.

"Lily was the one who kept pestering me with useless information during the remainder of summer. It was hell. Study with her instead. She'll push all the information inside your brain even if you don't want her to."

"She's being sarcastic. I only read out loud to Prim since she had nothing better to do than sleep all day."

Jane and Alice both giggled.

"I can only imagine."

* * *

A/N:

Sorry I'm late... I had midterms :( I finished my midterms but now I have to prepare for a presentation and for my final exams;;; kill me now... I won't promise when I'll be able to update but it'll be a while.

Also, I saw Thor Ragnarok and I'm just confused as to why people haven't made fanfics on that movie yet! The bromance between Loki and Thor was adorable! Can someone hurry up and make a thor ragnarok fanfic already? If no one's doing it, I'll write one for the good of all humanity. Maybe a fem!Harry x Loki?

Lastly, thanks to all the reviews! I also read the french one, I had to translate it from google translate cause I don't understand French. I think French language is just so beautiful, even when someone swears in French, it's just so elegant.


	6. Year 1 - 3

A/N: Sorry I'm late :\

* * *

106 - Flying Lessons

I _was_ not afraid of heights. I was just queasy about the idea of falling to my death as a worst-case scenario. But here I was, learning how to fly.

Lily, the true Gryffindor out of the both of us, was having the time of her life even though her broom rose after her tenth command.

"Up," I repeated myself — for how many times, I don't know.

The professor looked at me as if I was an embarrassment to all wizards and witches. I clearly knew that once my feet were off the ground, I would fall to my doom the very moment, which was why I was blatant in letting the broomstick my feelings.

It was sort of a conversation that the broomstick and I had over the course of this first flying lesson:

"I seriously don't like you," I would tell the broom.

"Yeah? Well, I don't like you either," the broom would whisper back.

The feeling was mutual.

From the sidelines, I could tell the Gryffindor boys were getting along fine with their cheap-for-school-purpose broomsticks; James Potter with his smug smirk, Sirius Black with his fucking hair flip, and so on.

I wasn't ashamed of myself being the only one not to be on a broomstick. I mean, why would I need to learn flying? I'd learn how to teleport myself sooner or later, and there were other means of transportation, like using a portkey, the floo network, or on unicorns, or just walking on foot — I mean, those are there for a purpose, right?

So, yeah, that was my first flying lesson. Next time, I'm skipping.

* * *

107 - Something Terrible Happened

I was just munching away on my breakfast, you see.

Breakfast was going well. I had three slices of bacon in my belly, another set of three on my plate, and one in my mouth, then white bread to tone down the saltiness, and a goblet of OJ.

It was going so well.

But then, he appeared.

You know who.

James fucking Potter.

"Professor Binge wanted me to tutor you," Potter said to me. He was all smiles. I would've thought him to be a cute boy if he wasn't such a devil.

"Tutor me? In what?"

"It's Professor Binge," at my dumbfounded look, Potter explained further, "Professor Binge teaches flying."

Oh, so that was his name? Binge? Like, 'I'm gonna binge watch all the seasons of Game of Thrones'?

But hold the fucking phone.

"You're going to tutor me on flying…?" I said in disbelief.

"The one and only."

"Fucking shit."

"Language, Prim."

I gave him a nice flick of the middle finger, and that earned me a glare from McGonagall.

* * *

108 - Lessons With a Potter

"You're afraid of flying!" Potter laughed like a seal — literally. All the people in the quidditch pit would've heard him laughing so loud and clapping like an idiot.

"I'm not afraid of flying. I'm just not okay with the idea of falling from so high up."

"Meaning you're afraid. Don't be embarrassed, Rose. Everyone has something they're scared of."

"I'm not embarrassed! And I'm not scared."

Potter looked at me like he didn't believe a word I said. I narrowed my eyes further in anger. He surprised me when his hand was on my shoulder. He said to me, "you are scared."

Maybe he was right. Of course, he was right.

After all, I did die from falling off a building in my past life. But this didn't change the fact that I wanted anything to do with flying.

Potter seemed to take my silence as an answer as he grabbed the broomstick from the ground and rode it. He was levitating, smiling as the broom lifted him a bit higher, and extending his hand out to me. He looked like a child.

"Don't worry, you won't fall off. But if you do, I'll catch you."

I hesitated. Just as I was about to back away, Potter grabbed my hand, and not a moment too soon, I was riding in front, his arms wrapped around my tiny waist.

I screamed curses at the boy behind me, and he just laughed a little louder.

* * *

108(2) - He Deserved It

"Fucking Potter," I muttered as I stumbled into the dorm.

Potter was following right behind me, sporting a red handed mark on one cheek. Despite it, he sported a grin.

My sister looked up from her book, her face telling me 'what is it now with Potter?' and that was exactly what she asked when I lay down beside her on the red couch.

"Potter, he's- … It's nothing." I was too worn out to even complain.

From a distance, I could hear Remus asking his friend what'd happened to his poor cheek. I frowned when I heard Potter replying, "I guess I deserve it."

Huh. That wasn't a response I was expecting from Potter's mouth.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for staying with this fic guys; I didn't abandon it, but updates are going to be a bit slow...

Also, yes, I did binge watch all of game of thrones; that's part of the reason why I'm late on the update.

The other reason is: school ;;;; so many midterms to study for and shit.

Any suggestions, comments, questions, feel free to leave them in the review sections or PM me. I'll definitely try to respond and take in your consideration with heart.

P.S I feel like Prim's character has changed somewhat from past chapters and future chapters because of my temporary hiatus for this fic, but don't worry, her character is the same cynical, sarcastic and humorous 21st century girl.

I'm just going with the flow at this point; there's no planned plot; the only plot here is that Prim's going to bow-chika-wow-wow with James.

Alrighty, see you soon :)


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